Blissful Sleep, how you elude me…

"I slept like a rock." 

THAT would be a true luxury for me.  Oh sure, I have the time to sleep all day and all night, but I don't get very good sleep.  Not solid, like a rock.  It figures, right?

Some mornings, Mike's goodbye kiss becomes a sedative.  That kiss before he leaves for work is the door closing on my consciousness.  For about 2 hours I fall into a cement-like snooze which hardens around me, blocking all light, sound, movement…It's heaven.  It's also when the phone starts ringing.

How do I know it's heaven?  For one thing, I feel so much more power (now THERE'S a funny word for me to use) after that 2 hour nap than I feel after a whole week of my regular (not-so-good) sleep.  And, I recall times of absolute, blissful, delicious sleep—back in college, or when I was a teen—after a daylong, strenuous adventure.  I remember loving it, even though my motto then was, You can sleep when you're dead.

Maybe that's what's missing—something strenuous.  A 2-mile walk is physically strenuous to me, but it lacks the mental release.  Maybe I need the concentration and stress that adventure requires.  Additionally, phantom pains keep me up, along with doubts, fears, sadness combined with the urgency to get my financial life in order while I'm of sound mind (hahahahha).  (That's its own post.)  I'm unable to override those disturbances — lack of mental release. 

It's also probably my bed, which is pretty new, and was fairly expensive, but causes pressure points I think.  The worst beds I've ever slept on were in Paris, but I still slept like a rock and woke up painless.  We walked from sun up to midnight though, so that was pure exhaustion.  (The best bed was in Amsterdam.)  I hear those hotel beds are actually not very expensive models (not even the ones at the Four Seasons). 

I miss that lovely, childlike sleep.  I think that alone could cure many of the world's ills.   It's just so hard to come by.  The manipulated sleep of a sedative or exhaustion from treatment is nowhere near the caliber of Original Sleep, Primeval Sleep.  The kind of sleep my husband and my cat have such a talent for.  They're sucking the blinds off the windows and sawing logs…I lie awake, pinned down and sandwiched in on both sides by helicopter motors.

No wonder I can't sleep.

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2 thoughts on “Blissful Sleep, how you elude me…

  1. I have always struggled with sleep, and these days I sleep with a snorer. For me, earplugs are a girl's best friend. Relaxation/meditation tapes help a lot too. If pain keeps you awake, you might try "Self-Healing With Guided Imagery" from Dr. Andrew Weill.

  2. I've read a couple of Dr. Weill's books—they're very good. I haven't read that one so I'll get right on it. I think I need a guided imagery tape though—maybe there's something on iTunes for that—Thanks for the tip.
    BTW, in Boston I enjoyed strolling around Quincy Market, but there were outdoor vendors in the summer. Also I ate at Legal Seafood, which supposedly supplies the White House with their famous clam chowder…the slimiest steamed clams I've ever seen—I couldn't even eat them (and I slurp lots of raw stuff). Sorry I don't know of any veggie places but it's Massachusetts, I'm sure there's a gazillion places over in Cambridge.
    Also, I haven't tried Karen McVey yet but hope to this week.

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