Cycle 2 AT: Feeling like The English Patient

Thanks for your patience, folks.  I know it's been awhile.  Bit of a rough patch there.  My face may not recover from the effects of cancer medication.  I'm afraid it takes a bit of getting used to, this new look.  There's always makeup, but coverage of the magnitude required looks quite unnatural.  Anyone with tips on this, please come forward.  I may need to invest in a good putty knife and an economy-sized jar of concealer.  Oh well, it's the price for more time and breathing.  Did I mention the rash is moving down my body?  Most uncomfortable.  I've yet to find the magic cocktail of moisturizers that will help my poor, thirsty skin while not causing a break out.

The chemo agent (Alimta) has its own side effects—an altogether different type of rash, exacerbating the already exaggerated dryness of my skin, and a strange fatigue combined with gastric disturbance and oral sensitivity.  I can truly say this is much worse than my first-line treatment with platinum. 

My hair seems to be hanging on, if feebly.  Knock on wood.  I'm told it will stop growing, however.

Vanity is a weird thing.  I never thought I was all that vain—I didn't care when my big hair fell out, and although it's strange that my hair is now so straight and thin, I don't fret.  My husband misses the hair, I think.  But when it comes to one's face….it's personal.  I don't recognize the face in the mirror.  Even with makeup, which I never wore that much of (except in the 80's').  I am self-conscious around my husband—I imagine he sees every red spot on my face (and it's a sea of spots).  I've started to think of working out, since I can now breathe.  Maybe if I get a hot body (wot?), he won't notice my face?  Maybe I should just work on my sense of humor and sod the rest of it.  And bake lots of cookies.

I should just enjoy the time I have left and quit worrying about how I look!  Right, that's the ticket.

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3 thoughts on “Cycle 2 AT: Feeling like The English Patient

  1. Hey, I seem to drop in and out but know that I send thoughts your way every day. Breathing is a good thing. You inspire me.

  2. I think when I'm up there we should go out a lot & tell people you have lepracy, the contagious kind. Then cough at them. We'll watch them shrink in horror & laugh miniacly. (SP?) I know you're cute & all but I don't think that's what's kept Mikey happy all these years. Vanity is stange, in that as soon as you decide screw it you're inner glow will knock em dead.

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