It's been a crazy week for treatment. I had a last minute PET scan prior to the bone biopsy I'm having (tomorrow). If the PET scan was negative, I'd proceed with the biopsy. If it was positive, well, then, I still have cancer. So it's negative, and I'm going in tomorrow for a procedure I've been told is quite painful. :O
On the one hand I should be happy I've had two negative PET scans in a row—one from September 2008 and this last one. I should be very hopeful at the possibility of going off treatment, if only for a time. I can't help fearing the disease will return with nothing holding it at bay. Even though I've read accounts of my medication, Tarceva, effecting complete remission in some patients (amount of time unknown), I don't think I'll ever really feel "safe" from cancer. The thought of growing normal hair and not having a perpetual rash is, however, a sunny thought.
The things I've done to battle the beast—exercise and "green food", acupuncture, tea, prayer, etc– I didn't practice with any depth. I've merely dabbled. Would being declared cancer-free bring about a complete change in my health lifestyle? Probably more than being sick would. I'd give up more things, whereas being ill is a double-edged sword, trying to balance actions toward health improvement against the very same that give pleasure (important when one's life is short).
As for Acupuncture—I'm a believer, and I'd try to convince anyone it works. Acupuncture has decreased my pain and improved my well-being by leaps and bounds. I visited a different practitioner today, and it felt like I was on drugs afterwards—my body buzzed and tingled with energy yet my mind was in a deeply meditative state. I was surprised to find myself in such a bright room. My inner eye was in a very comfortable darkness I didn't want to leave. It's happened at other acupuncture sessions, and during one massage. It's an amazing feeling.
That's the scoop!