The truth is…

Being off chemo hasn't been the fantastic joyride I was led to believe it is.  Every morning of the past two weeks I've rolled out of bed feeling like I was beaten all night with a baseball bat.  Achy, stiff, can't wake up.  Sorry to sound so whiny.  Acupuncture hasn't helped, though I'm told by the acupuncturist that it's drug withdrawals.  Yeah, I guess it's a bit like Trainspotting.  Waiting for some positive effect on the scalp and maybe some hair growth (it would be nice to go capless in the summer).

The process of home buying is kicking my ass.  I don't know what it is, it wasn't like this in 2003.  Maybe it's the pressure the hubster's exerting—it's like some race he's in and I'm the sled-dog getting mushed.  I came to Idaho (with him) to try to escape a little…alas, nothing like the computer and cell phones to keep it coming.  I'm beginning to resent all this connectedness.  Good thing is, the hotel bed has decreased my pain quite a bit.  Probably that and the partial escape.
I feel like a bum, vegging out in the hotel all day.  I'm supposed to hang out with the associate's wife, but I dunno, I feel kinda lazy.  It's work to be around people you don't know very well. It would be good for hubster's business relationship I guess…
I probably need to get out more, quit whining about my little life!

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5 thoughts on “The truth is…

  1. I find that even when I detox from just sugar, meat, wine, etc. I feel yucky for a while until I get everything flushed out of my body. I imagine it is much more dramatic for you. I hope you are drinking lots of good fluids and maybe some mild exercise to keep things moving.It's okay to be a bum sometimes. Listen to your body and your spirit and give them what they need – not what somebody else thinks you are supposed to need.Take care, my dear.

  2. You are not lazy you are rejuvinating. You are not a trained poodle either, that lady can entertain herself. She's way off the list of priorities for you. Don't feel bad about it ( I know you) even Oprah has learned to say no. Luv u.

  3. Sometimes it helps if I give myself permission to be still, to relax. And then I can release any guilt in not doing things for others.Sometimes you have to come first ~ There's only one you..Blessings & prayers for a good week ;o)

  4. Thanks for this insight. I need to be reminded that it's acceptable to "release any guilt in not doing things for others." This is the guiding principle of healing from major illnesses, which some books state are the result of overdoing—everything from work to personal efforts on behalf of others.

  5. You are always on run, even if the destination is unknown. Relax girl, don't let the house thing get to you, it's just wood and stucco. It will happen in time, when the time is ready. Say hello to Mike.

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