Things are so strange all the time, everywhere.  I feel like the world's going to hell in a hand basket.  Faster and faster with each passing day.

  • Lay-offs.  I know it's everywhere, you can see it in the thinned traffic on the freeway and the shuttered businesses.   It's heartbreaking.  It makes no difference that you've been with an organization for 30 years—the government doesn't give peons severance benefits.  Is anyone feeling secure in their jobs?  I personally don't know anyone.  The Hubster's even thought of his options.  They generally involve leaving the country.  Which makes me wonder about—
  • Homebuying.  In spite of the supposed glut of houses on the market, everything we offer on has multiple bids (one had 31 offers).  The only one that didn't was a short sale on which we've heard nothing from the bank (Chase) in a month!  So we're making another offer today on a rancher in Pinole.  More on that later.  Frankly, I'm too scared to buy a house right now, but Hubster is really caught up with it.  Sometimes our priorities are so very different.
  • Health.  Even more heartbreaking than lay-offs, they go hand in hand, thanks to our lovely health insurance system.  Those of us walking the razor's edge of treatment/functionality/hope have been doing it for quite awhile now.  I'm heartened that we've hung on this long, but I can't help but wish for more.  I've been luckier than most, so far, but feel horrifically insecure about everything—wellness, finances, relationships.  I weep, hearing how my battle-scarred friends are doing (you know who you are).  No matter what the circumstances or the brave face we wear, we feel alone and lonely in our fate.  I don't think this condition can be helped.  I try not to think of it too often, but it sneaks in there—putting me in my place, humbling me, pissing me off.  
If it wasn't for the pain caused by lying in bed, I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning.  So I guess pain is sometimes good for something.  It's a reminder that we're still alive.  Isn't that what they tell you in combat?

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9 thoughts on “Rant

  1. Has anyone explained to you how there can be multi offers with a housing glut? That's very interesting. It's how prices go up, of course, but I didn't think they were.

  2. I feel your pain. We need to spend some poolside time doing a whole lot of nothing. I think you should sneak into town & we'll hide like we did @ Belle.

  3. I've heard that's what they tell you. Some days it just has to do and it's good there is, at least, something. Then a good day happens and you'll appreciate it more than anyone else!

  4. I can say you've made more than a few of mine bearable. You've never laughed at my rants or gave me too much of a hard time when I'm being selfish. I'm so thankful for my friend's perspectives and them "a good day happens" …

  5. Frankly, I think we (the battle-scarred) deserve to be just a little selfish! I can say for myself that I wish I had been more selfish, and ranted a bit more. So rant on, and indulge yourself. Life is short. ;-D

  6. Hi Jazz. You have so much on your plate – I think you are amazingly strong and positive in the face of all of it. No matter how much I try to be brave, sometimes I just get tired of dealing with everything alone and have to reach out too. I guess the other good thing that can come out of difficulty is that we all depend on each other more. We are here for you in whatever way we can be.

  7. Nancy— Your plate is so full as well, but you remind me that the listening and caring, the being unselfish, brings such nice rewards. Thanks so much for being there, and the feeling is mutual.

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