What happened to the excitement I used to feel when planning a trip to a distant land? Why am I so nervous that I haven’t purchased tickets to the Philippines? Is it the daunting cost and the lack of input from my other co-travelers that’s preventing me from making the reservations?
I think it’s fear of buying the tickets while hubby’s out traveling—when he gets back he’ll realize it was a mistake to commit for 10 days. Or some irreversible work-related crisis will cause him to go to Timbuktu on the weekend before we leave (not covered under travel insurance). That’s what happened on my birthday trip—he wasn’t supposed to travel anywhere that week and wound up going to New York. Whatever, I don’t have confidence in buying these tickets on my own. I’m dragging my feet.
Is there a deeper reason for this inaction? Is it my lack of organization regarding this trip in general, because everyone’s leaning on me to plan the whole thing and I just feel too tired to even think about it? Is it all the various and sundry things in daily life that tire me out (like fighting with AT&T about my phone/internet service or Kaiser premiums increasing by 18%)? Am I just making excuses?
I’m whining. I can’t help it. Sometimes I wish someone else would just take care of this. Hubby wants to go but HATES traveling. So he’s pretty ambivalent. I’m going because I haven’t really been there since I was young and I don’t recall much about my last trip…and it may be my mom’s and my last trip to the motherland before we kick it. I guess I’m afraid of hubby’s reaction to the poverty, dirt, and third-world-ness of it all. He’s been to a few third world areas–I don’t think it’s his idea of relaxation. Sigh.