At home. Very quiet. Watched some movies. I feel strange, like I’m supposed to make it more cheery than it is. I want to go to the movies, but millions probably have the same idea, or maybe go for a walk, but can’t breathe the cold air.
I read some of Caroline’s posts from last Christmas. The very same feeling she speaks of greets me every season – will this be my last Christmas? The ribbons are worn, should I buy new things…And then the joy when it’s up and the house is cheerful. But still the underlying sadness in the private place that no one sees.
I have little interest in material things anymore. I feel my heart will burst from the thought of “my peeps”. I think I better get some strong eggnog and watch a silly Christmas movie before I succumb to the dark place –