Christmas Day

At home.  Very quiet.  Watched some movies.  I feel strange, like I’m supposed to make it more cheery than it is.  I want to go to the movies, but millions probably have the same idea, or maybe go for a walk, but can’t breathe the cold air.

I read some of Caroline’s posts from last Christmas.  The very same feeling she speaks of greets me every season – will this be my last Christmas?  The ribbons are worn, should I buy new things…And then the joy when it’s up and the house is cheerful.  But still the underlying sadness in the private place that no one sees.

I have little interest in material things anymore.  I feel my heart will burst from the thought of “my peeps”.  I think I better get some strong eggnog and watch a silly Christmas movie before I succumb to the dark place –


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