A very lazy Saturday. Mostly slept through last night, having taken a 15mg morphine tab at bedtime. I had Zometa infusion yesterday, which again brought up the question of who my doctor is. There appears to be friction between my old oncologist and my new one. So of all the ones I could choose, I wound up with the two who don’t get along. The new one (Dr. Jang) seems to be well-liked among the infusion nurses. The old one – sounds like she might be temperamental? I have no doubt she’s a fine physician and smart, and I like her as a person, but we weren’t a good fit. And I don’t need a guilt trip in addition to the difficulties in managing my care. Anyway, I grocery-shopped to the point of fainting from hunger, then came home and tried to relax the rest of the day.
I’m trying not to be a tough guy, so I’m on pain patches, I’ve rubbed canna oil on some sore areas, taken a morphine tab, and am now indulging in a heated throw and a Star Trek: Next Generation marathon (after marathon documentaries on The Who). No. 1 without his beard looks a bit like Capt. Kirk… Television has become nothing but a sorry excuse of “reality” shows and commercials. It’s maddening.
Hubs is going out to the high desert to play on a buddy’s Razor. Said buddy bought a 2014 model and is keen to take it out. I’d love to go but wonder whether my bones can take a bumpy 60-mile ride. The problem of bone mets, especially in the spine, limits my recreation to activities that don’t include bouncing or high-impact jarring movements. This includes high-speed boat rides on choppy water, bungee-jumping, quad-riding over rutted rocky terrain… Inasmuch as I’ve accepted my limitations, I still hope for a response to the next treatment which would allow some sort of recreation. As weak and inactive as I’ve become, I long for outdoor adventure and activity. I long to go camping, go into the ocean, engage in the sporting life. It’s not so much a bucket list thing as it is a desire to feel exhilarated once more before dying. It’s been a long time since I’ve done something mind-blowingly fun and physical. Perhaps a trip to the dunes wouldn’t be so hard on the bones. Or maybe Hawaii :-D!