Scared

I feel like crap. I’m quite nervous about this wash-out period before the trial. I think I had a similar period prior to the last trial, but I wasn’t having complications… or was I? I wasn’t that far from intervening therapy though, only a couple of months. I had an oncologist who was paying attention.

Maybe the blood thinner is what’s causing the headaches, and the stomach aches. The pain is really escalating. Tuesday just can’t come soon enough, and I have to drive myself to and from treatment! Well, that’s because I’m staying the night at a friend’s house, otherwise I could probably have someone take me.

I had very little motivation today. Did some chores, watched a lot of Christmas movies. Just felt yukky, tired, in pain, short of breath. I’m seriously tired of feeling ill and not being able to get a full night’s sleep.

I hope and pray anti-PD1 treatment works.  So many people have died this month on my online cancer forum, it’s hard to be perky. I find it ironic that all the nurses at the hospital marveled at how cheerful I am. You’d never know it by what I write here. Strange, isn’t it?

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3 thoughts on “Scared

  1. {{Mega Hug}}

    You don’t have to be cheerful. You wouldn’t be normal if you were always cheerful. Vent as much as you need to. Frankly, I’m amazed by how strong you are. You know so much about cancer treatment, you could probably get some kind of medical degree. There is no way I’d be as educated in your shoes. Hell, I can’t even SAY the names of half the treatments you talk about. You gotta be smart to be a cancer survivor, I guess.

    As for Christmas movies, Kara makes me watch “A Muppet Christmas Carol” every year. My big question is: what would frog/pig children really look like? Hanna Barbara did a good job of sidestepping that controversial issue.

    Nichole

    • Just found out about Jasmine’s passing and am very sorry but I know she fought a good long fight. I so admire her for I too am a cancer survivor and can somewhat relate. She was a champion of all champions. She taught me how to do a PX when she worked with me. I so miss her…… Peace

      • She didn’t just fight cancer… she attacked cancer. And the research she participated in will eventually save millions of lives.

        And she was the best court clerk ever.

        Nichole

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